It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
