I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
