im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
