that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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