OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
