Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
