am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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