If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
