my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
honey bunches of taint.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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