I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
