thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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