I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize