We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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