hotel room ftw
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
