My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
