i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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