He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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