Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
