dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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