Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Found your dick twin last night
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
