There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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