that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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