"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
