turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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