So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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