I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
