I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
