she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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