she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Can I color on your dick again?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Randomize
