Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
