I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
