apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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