Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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