You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
