Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What drink are we having for lunch?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize