You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
