id be glad to
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
