sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
