i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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