so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
