Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
operation have a gay friend backfired
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
