Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
