No, drunk sperm still make babies.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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