half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
