A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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