is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
