I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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