I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize