yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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