no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
