The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
