I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
