I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
