in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize