you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
