Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
