Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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