I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
