I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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