i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
A+ Viking dick
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
