So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
