The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
