Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
