mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
