allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
