One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
