Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
