grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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